Wednesday, July 29, 2009

The Doldrums

I'm stuck in neutral. I want to get things done. I want to get posts written. I want to clean my house. I want to play soccer with the boys. I want to do a lot of things. I want to stop wanting. I have posts waiting for me to finish. They won't write themselves, will they? Suddenly my month's reserve of posts are used up.

I've been so preoccupied of late. With what? I'm not really sure. There has been a lot of thinking going on. Which is fine, but without action, I have nothing to show for it. I have a great idea for a historical novel, based on an ancestor's life, but all I do is carry my notebook around, hold the pencil, and watch the blank page gather dust. I've been thinking of ways to get this blog up and running at full momentum. I've been thinking of ways to declutter my life. We're planning a garage sale for next month. I've been thinking about tagging everything. But does anything actually have a price tag on it yet?

I've gotten onto Facebook. Big mistake. I'm spending so much time reconnecting with old friends, I'm not taking care of things for today. Don't get me wrong, I adore Facebook now. (I could do without all those little polls and games they have on there, though.) But, I've been dreaming so much about the past. I've been remembering things of late that I thought I had forgotten some 25 years ago. Like what brand of chocolate milk a friend's mom used to buy and serve on our sleepovers. Why would I remember that? Why should I? There's a lot a regret there, too. I see all the people I wish I would have stayed in touch with over the years, and didn't, and I see all the missed opportunities.

I've got to get my ass in gear. Stop thinking. Get moving. I've got to break out of these doldrums; create my own momentum - no one else is going to do it for me, that's for sure.

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2 comments:

Sarah said...

Thanks for this lovely commentary. Though I'm sure none of your readers are happy that you're personally going through a funk, it's nonetheless nice to know that we're (I'm) not alone in having those down days. This is a great blog--beautiful pictures, cool ideas, sharp writing--and I hope you continue to be inspired to share!

Who Has Time To Cook? said...

Thanks, Sarah. Like cloudy days, this will pass and it will be sunny again. I already feel a shift of the winds. -- Jean